Can You Guess the Four Pillars for a Happy Life?

Go ahead. Take a shot at it. Stumped? OK. I'll give you a hint. Money isn't one of them.

The idea that money, or financial security, is one of the pillars of happiness has been brought to us by the same people who gave us the current financial collapse: investment companies. They have had a very good reason to sell us on the idea that having lots of money for retirement is the key to security (i.e., happiness).

By focusing on creating a large stash of cash, we are led to ignore the very things that bring us happiness. Studies show that many people who have focused on their career and making abundant money for retirement die on the average of three years after retirement. They die friendless, bitter, lonely, and suffering from poor health. They sacrificed everything for job and retirement and, in the end, they lose everything.

Some studies suggest that retirement is the problem. Retirement is not the problem. Living for job and money exclusively before retirement is the problem.

So, what are the four pillars of happiness? Ralph Warner wrote Get a Life: You Don't Need a Million to Retire Well. This is one of the most valuable books I have read. It came bundled for free with my Turbo Tax DVD. I figured that I should read up on ways to fund retirement so I began reading the book. The financial planning for retirement part of the book took up the last few chapters. By far the largest part of the book dealt with the four pillars for successful retirement.

Warner spent nearly twenty five years interviewing successfully retired people, those who had achieved happiness in their later years. He found that they all had four things in common in their lives, four areas that they had paid attention to long before they retired.

All right, already. So what are they? Take a minute to think about this for yourself. What do you see as the most important aspects of your life? Ponder this and write them down before you go on. I'll wager that most of you will get this right if you just use common sense and let your mind go free.

OK. Here they are:

1. Health

Health is one of the first things we ignore when we are driven to succeed in our careers. Who has time for exercise and recreation? Anyway, my job provides good health insurance so I can always pop medicine to control my blood pressure and have the doc fix me up if something goes wrong. Onward and upward, climbing the ladder of success into the wonderland of retirement.

Wrong approach. Health requires constant attention throughout our lives. Stress is probably the number one killer. Achieving and keeping good health is one of the best ways to deal with stress. As we grow older, our health becomes even more important. If we suffer from poor health, we may end up in a nursing home the last years of our lives.

2. Family

Family is another dispensable while climbing the corporate ladder or making a career successful. Family means a lot more than just having dinner together a few times a week. Family is the most fundamental institution in every society in the world. Family includes the relationship between husband and wife. That alone requires great wisdom and diligence to nurture and prosper. Then throw in the children! I have often wished that each child would come with a instruction manual showing which buttons NOT to push!

Family includes the extended family of grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and nephews. The support of the extended family is a key component for happiness.

3. Friends

Friends, real friends--not just people we associate with through work--are crucial for happiness. Not that friends at work are unimportant. We may develop real friendships at work that go far beyond the requirements of the work place. Friends are those that we can share our life's secretes with, our ideas and thoughts, our successes and failures. Friends see us for who we are and still love us!

Here is the humdinger. It is not just friends that we need. As we grow into our 50s and 60s and beyond, we need to have younger friends. Why younger friends? Because friends our own age begin to die off as we grow older and, before we know it, we are alone. That holds true for our parents, brother's and sister's, aunts and uncles, and cousins. Unless we strike up friendships with the younger generation, we will find ourselves alone and bitter.

4. Interests

Pursuing interests is often one of the casualties of career building and creating that treasure chest for retirement. Who has time for hobbies when work requires 60 to 80 hours a week, including commuting, coming in early and leaving late, and working weekends. Yet hobbies, interests, service projects, organizations, common interest clubs and so forth are a key to a happy life, before and after retirement.

Passionate interests become all the more important if we lose our spouse or our family lives far away. Warner calls this "Loving Life." That is an excellent phrase for this key pillar. A passionate interest is the kind of activity that totally engrosses us. It can be a recreation, a religious community, a hobby, a service dedication and so forth. Loving Life. Yes, indeed, that has to be the cherry on the top of the hot fudge sundae!

Health, Friends, Family, and Interests

So, there they are. The four pillars of the happy life. We would be foolish to ignore money. Yet we would be far more foolish to sacrifice health, family, friends, and passionate interests for money. When we love life, we light up with joy and bring happiness to those around us.

Can't We All Just Get Along?

The common and continual mischiefs of the spirit of party are sufficient to make it the interest and duty of a wise people to discourage and restrain it.

--George Washington, Farewell Address, 1796

George Washington knew the animosity of party all too well. By the time that he finished his term as the first president of the United States, Washington had had more than his fill of vile attacks upon his person through the print media.

Washington had hoped that the infant USA would navigate a course between the two extremes of party, at that time called the Federalists (the mother of the Republican party) and the Republicans (the mother of the Democratic party). Yet he saw the rigid lines drawn between the Federalists and the Republicans and feared that they had become an institution in USA political life. And they had.

Why did we fail to maintain one party, instead opting for two major parties and a host of very small independent parties? What is it in human nature that drove us to create partisan stances with a clear line drawn in the sand?

It is all about human nature. That is, how we view human nature. No better way exists to understand the character of the Republican party and the Democratic party than to compare the founders of those parties, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson.

John Adams came from Boston, the home of Puritanism in the USA. His way of life kept much of the Puritan world view. By the way, the Puritans received a lot of bad press which the scholar Perry Miller went a long ways toward dispelling. Adams believed in the depraved nature of the human soul, that we have been afflicted with sin through the fall of Adam and Eve. Regardless of the sophistication of our education, we will never overcome the power of temptation to sin by reason alone. The grace of God, the holiness that comes from living a life of holiness, will alone preserve our souls.

Thomas Jefferson came from Charlottesville, about 130 miles from Jamestown, the birthplace of Virginia and the USA. Jefferson embodied the Virginia plantation slaveholder who cherished reason. He embodied the cruel dichotomy of espousing freedom and equality while holding men in slavery to work his fields, build his mansions, and father his children. Jefferson selectively chose which words he believed in the Bible, holding no place for sin and the depravity of the soul. Instead, all things could be achieved through reason and education.

There you have the basic, fundamental, difference between the Republican world view and the Democratic world view. The Republican world view embraces the Puritan belief in resisting temptation and sin through prayer, holiness, and hard work. The goal is to create the Holy Commonwealth of saints. The Democratic viewpoint uplifts reason as the means to salvation for the person and the human race. There is no human sin, no depravity of the soul. We achieve the New Jerusalem through freedom, equality, and reason.

The Republican and Democratic viewpoints each have their weaknesses. The Republican view, with it's belief in the will, can fall toward the sin of fascism. The tendency to see a race as supreme and a holy people chosen to rule the world. The Democratic viewpoint can, with it's belief in the power of reason, error towards utopianism and sexual immorality. The belief in the power of reason can lead to the practice of imposing a communistic rule over others and a naiveté about the power of passion to derail the reasonable person.

George Washington embodied the strengths and weaknesses of both the Republican and the Democratic parties. A pious Christian and a Mason, he believed in the depravity of the soul and the power of temptation. A Virginian, he embraced the Enlightenment's reverence of reason while owning a plantation with slaves forced to labor as chattel for him.

So, although Washington called for citizens of the USA to stand above party in his farewell address, he fell short of embodying a person neither Democrat nor Republican. What kind of person would that be?

They would embrace God as the creator, seek holiness in community, accept the depravity of the soul while embracing the power of reason. They would not draw lines between the races but see all people as their brothers and sisters. They would not see the USA as the supreme savior of the human race, commissioned to rule over them, but as a nation especially blessed with values, principles, and wealth to help the community of nations.

One concluding note on friendship between Republican and Democrat. In the later years of their lives, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson strengthened their relationship as dear and close friends. Their exchange of letters is a treasure of profound thought and endearing sentiments. They died on July 4, 1826, Adams on his farm near Boston and Jefferson on his plantation near Charlottesville, each asking about the other with their dying breath. In the end, one in love and respect, true patriots both.